Forgiveness is one of the hardest things the human heart has ever had to do. It’s easy to smile and pretend we’ve moved on, but deep inside, memories still sting, words still echo, and hurts still remind us of who broke us. And yet, forgiveness is also the very thing that sets the soul free. It releases us from the emotional chains we never knew we were dragging.
So What Is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is not pretending it never happened. It’s not a weakness. It’s not giving someone permission to hurt you again. Forgiveness is choosing peace over bitterness. It is the decision to take your heart back from the person who wounded you. It is healing, not forgetting. It is freedom, not denial. It is choosing to let God be the judge while you choose to be whole.
Jesus spoke about forgiveness many times, and His words still challenge us today:
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you” — Matthew 6:14
“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother who sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy times seven.” — Matthew 18:21–22
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive your sins.” — Mark 11:25
Jesus did not just talk about forgiveness; He lived it. Hanging on the cross, wounded, betrayed, abandoned, He still said,
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34
That is forgiveness at its highest form.
So how Do We Forgive and Forget?
The truth is, humans don’t truly forget. God can erase memories, but we can’t. What we can do is remove the power those memories hold, which means not allowing the bad memory to influence the way we treat the offender or ourselves. Forgiveness is not the erasing of the mind but the healing of the heart.
Here is how we can practically do that.
1. Admit the Pain Instead of Hiding It
You can’t heal what you pretend does not hurt. Speak it. Cry it out. Bring it to God honestly.
2. Release the Person Into God’s Hands
Forgiveness is saying, “God, this is too heavy for me. Take it.” When you hand over the burden, you stop reliving the hurt.
3. Pray for Strength, Not Revenge
Jesus said to pray for those who hurt you (Matthew 5:44). Not because they deserve it, but because you deserve peace.
4. Set Healthy Boundaries
Forgiveness does not always mean reconnection. Peace can include distance. Healing sometimes happens best in separation.
5. Replace the Painful Memory with Gratitude
Every time the hurt comes up, remind yourself: “I am healing. God is restoring me. I am no longer who I was when this happened.”
6. Let Time and Grace Do Their Work
Forgiveness is a journey. Some days the pain fades. Some days it flares back up. Keep choosing peace, and one day you’ll wake up lighter.
The Beauty of Letting Go
Forgiveness is not about the offender; it’s about the future God wants to give you. When you forgive, your heart learns to breathe again. The weight lifts. The wounds close. And slowly, joy finds its way back to you.
PUT INTO CONSIDERATION: Forgiving and forgetting is not magical. It is intentional. It is stepping into freedom every single day. And you deserve that freedom.
